The Permanence of Anger

The great thing about anger is that it has a shelf life after which you cool down and become rational again. The bad thing about anger is that it has a shelf life after which you cool down and become rational again. The problem is that things you do whilst angry seem justified, necessary and right whilst in the grip of the madness that is anger. But unfortunately even when that anger is gone your actions during that anger remain.

My favorite parable on anger is this:

There was once a hot tempered boy who lost his temper very quickly. He was angry a lot and it showed. One day his father took him aside and said “Son I wish you could control your anger but I know that you have a hard time doing that so instead I have a simple request. Each time you are angry I want you to come and hit this wall as hard as you need to in order to get the anger out.”

The boy agreed and each time he was angry he would come to the wall and hit it leaving dents all over the wall. After awhile, his father called him again and asked him to look at the wall. “Son are you angry right now?” he asked “no” was the son’s reply. “Look at the wall, even though your anger is gone, the results of your anger are still there. The dents in the wall don’t leave when your anger does.”

He explained to his son that actions done in anger have consequences that last long after your anger is gone and you may have forgotten the reason for that anger. If you hurt someone’s feeling, yell at them, curse their family and insult them, even if your anger is sated in that moment or your anger subsides later, they won’t forget those insults for years to come – in fact they may never forget.

Anger causes even the most normal person do so something so heinous they could end up arrested for violence or worse. So be wary of satisfying your anger because once you unleash it, it’s effects are devastating and permanent.

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The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allâh ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.
The Noble Qur’an – Fussilat 41:34

Those who spend [in Allâh’s Cause – deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allâh loves Al-Muhsinûn (the good­doers).
The Noble Qur’an – Al-‘Imran 3:134

Abu Huraira رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه و آله و صحبه و سلم said, “The strong person is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong person is the one who controls himself while in anger.”
Hadith – Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.135

Abu Huraira رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنه narrated that a man said to the Prophet صلى الله عليه و آله و صحبه و سلم , “Advise me!” The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious.”
Hadith – Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.137


Nusrah Wali

NUSRAH IS THE EDITOR OF DAILY HIJABI AND UMMAH MAGAZINES. SHE IS A VORACIOUS READER WHO LOVES ALL THINGS PRETTY. OCCASIONALLY SHE LIVES IN A MOTION GRAPHICS, EDITING AND CSS BUBBLE. SHE LIVES AND BREATHES DESIGN, ADORES CATS AND WISHES EVERYONE WOULD ALL JUST GET ALONG.

2 Comments
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